


i won't dream because of you

by flxss



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Late at Night, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Watching Someone Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27127768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flxss/pseuds/flxss
Summary: Jared is quite content to lay and watch Richard sleep instead of going to sleep himself. He considers his predicament in the depths of the night.
Relationships: Jared Dunn/Richard Hendricks
Kudos: 11





	i won't dream because of you

**Author's Note:**

> Jared POV!
> 
> I don't know what I'm going for, it's a bit sad tbh <3

If I love with all my being, then what do I keep for myself when I lie alone at night? 

That's where I find myself now. Lying on the twin bed across from Richard's unable to sleep. We're only here until tomorrow, till yet another convention ends and we can go home. I sit and stare, through the sole window at the landscape of stars. Here, in this pretty rural town where they had managed to get a cheap motel, the sky is clear and bright. It is so beautiful but it just makes me feel… Wrong. I can watch this; the magnificence of nature and still only think about…

He's sleeping, snoring even, on the other side of the room. Each heavy stunted breath comes out with a small mist of steam in the cold room. The lack of functional heating in the room means they both have to sleep in full clothing so Richard is tucked up in his hoodie, zipped completely. The cover is pulled now just to his nose. He just looks so cosy and warm and- No, that's not to think about. I can just sit and watch, thinking can be saved. He turns in his disturbed sleep, shifting his closed eyes in my direction. But he's not looking at me. He's not. I'm not altogether sure he's not. 

In his closed eyes I see the artifice of my voyeurism in golden writing. This is my love, deep and rich and… shallow. I could go now and reach out to him, and take his hand. I don't know what I would do if he woke up and saw it If he held my hand I would cry. I would cry for him and for me, but all my tears might run dry until I learnt to let go of his hand again. 

For all these times I have sat and watched you, not an ounce of regret has passed my mind. But I know if you so much as glanced at me I would be overcome with shame. So I sit on my bed, tucked under the coarse off-white sheets and stare. 

It's a few minutes before I can feel my eyes flickering up and down, I'm falling to sleep. I hope it's a romantic dream, that my eyes are weighing down to mirror your own. We'll dream the same. When we wake we'll look at each other and know. We'll realise that there is a connection between us. That there's no chasing at all. Maybe it'll be a soft dream for a change. What do I do if it's too much? I can't stand what I'll face, not tonight.


End file.
